I knew when I got to the Neighborhood watch meeting last week, that guy from down on the corner was talking about me again. I saw him outside, standing next to his car. Of course I take security a little more seriously then the rest of the people who just like to *say* that are protecting our neighborhood. Next time though, I’ll be able to hear him. I just bought the new Spy Monocular & Long Range Sound Recorder.

I know that jerk was talking about me. I know it. And if he thinks he’s going to get away with this, he’s in for a rude awakening. I know he’s been talking to the watch leader. Excessive use of force. Those damn kids in their hoodies deserved everything they got. Besides, I used a bag of oranges, not a pillowcase full of door knobs.. yet.

I’ll fix him next time. I’ll be watching and recording using the new 8x monocular with a parabolic dish from Brando. I even got a great deal on it, $44.00 plus shipping.

Here’s a friendly reminder that Halloween is right around the corner. The $90 “Zombie of Montclaire Moors” garden statue has actually been around for a little while but you can never get too much zombie-related statue news, am I right?

Designed by British artist Alan Dickinson, this undead lawn ornament will surely keep those damn kids, dogs, and solicitors off your property for good. And that, my friends, is the gift that keeps on giving. Keep in mind, though, that you’ll probably even creep yourself out every time you walk up to your front door on those dark, foggy nights.

And if you have small children of your own… well… I guess if you’re willing to drop almost a hundred bucks on something like this, you can probably afford to pay for a few trips to the child psychologist.

Zombie Of Montclaire Moors [SkyMall]

Thanks to “bigelu” for sending this in.