Nowadays, it’s pretty much a given that we have entered what can only be considered the modern age (though the so-called ‘modern age’ supposedly started in 1700). In fact, modernity is everywhere one cares to look, and even the Amish are getting in on the act, putting new ultralight horseshoes on their animals that promise 50 miles per bag of oats, at minimum.

And this is where the fabled ‘Canyon Man’ will need to make some serious adjustments. Everybody has one of these guys in the neighborhood. On Sunday mornings he’s usually out working under the hood of his 35-year-old vehicle that spews out a cloud of blue smoke whenever it’s turned on, but this guy will never trade it in or buy a new car, unfortunately.

Now why Mr. Canyon Man is still sporting a leather watch band that probably came off the back of some poor animal who didn’t quite live up to expectations back in 1902 is a definite question for the ages, but the fact is he’s out there supporting it and will never consider what futurists refer to as ‘digital watches’ and what most people refer to as just a ‘watch’ nowadays.

Canyon Man is also uncomfortable with any sort of viewing technology when it comes to a television that doesn’t have something to do with a large picture tube sitting inside of a console that that resembles the log cabin that Abraham Lincoln probably went to law school in or something that Noah threw overboard once his ark made landfall.

It will be a fair bet — in fact, this kind of bet should be taken all the way to the bank — that Canyon Man won’t be coming anywhere near something like a custom LCD television at anytime in the near or far future. He also probably has never heard the words ‘DVD player’ (let alone ‘VCR’) in his life without uttering a string of profanities once those words had hit his auditory sensory organs, otherwise known as ‘ears.’

Now that digital video signals have completely taken over the airwaves, it’s probably a fair bet that Canyon Man is sitting in his house pounding on the side of that big old console TV wondering how to get all that snow off the picture. If the words ‘digital converter box’ ever pass his lips, it will be time to wonder if the Second Coming has arrived. Certainly, a TV with LED backlight technology will forever be beyond his grasp, both intellectually and morally.

For many of us, the fight that Canyon Man engages in to avoid all of the wonders of modern technology is important because we’re the ones who are going to have to put up with him as we move into even more high-tech adventures. There probably won’t be a seat on the bus for a guy wearing a leisure suit, let alone anybody having the patience to deal with the cloud of smoke from his car’s exhaust.

Last year, I wrote that Bill had this (let’s be honest) evil-genius style plan to weaken hurricanes before they make landfall. Sounded a bit fantastical at the time, but as it turns out, there are real scientists ready to rock and roll with these things. They’re so serious they even put together a video.

The idea is really pretty simple: by pumping warm surface water to the cool depths of the ocean, the temperature at the surface can be reduced by a few degrees, which is apparently all it takes to weaken a hurricane.

[via Gizmodo]

I know I waxed friendly on Gates yesterday, but this latest plan seems a little mad-scientist to me. Of course, he didn’t concoct it personally and it’s only possible to use it for good, but the sheer scale of the thing just screams “Dr. Evil.” The idea is that by changing the ocean’s temperature by a few degrees in the area where a hurricane is about to hit, they can slow or weaken a hurricane before it makes landfall. Of course, changing the temperature of the ocean is about is large-scale an operation as is possible on this planet.

Fortunately, they only need to change its temperature in a certain area, and only by a few degrees. This would create enough atmospheric something-or-other to affect the storm. A whole bunch of “sail-maneuvered barges” (why sails?) with pumps and 500-foot tubes would pump up cold water from the depths and push warmwater down. Of course, it’s going to be hard to staff a hundred ships that will be going straight into the path or eye of the hurricane. Not exactly the safest place to be, but on the plus side it’d make a great movie.

If you were to say to me “that’s madness,” I wouldn’t think less of you for it. But it seems that hurricanes apparently cost the US $10bn annually and Katrina cost us $81bn. A fraction of that would pay for this entire fleet.

My problem is this: the ocean is a very well-tuned ecosystem, and a temperature change of a few degrees might be negligible to us, but for microfauna or algae it may be fatal. Mess with the planet’s homeostasis at your own risk, my friends.