We figured Apple’s firm response to Lodsys earlier this week regarding its claims against iOS devs would prompt the patent holder to move on to its next target, and sure enough, it looks as if said target has been selected. Unfortunately, a group of Android app devs have now found themselves in the Texas-based company’s crosshairs, which is citing the same patent infringement that Apple recently addressed, relating specifically to in-app upgrade purchases. As was the case with the last round of letters, Lodsys is demanding licensing fees from small, individual developers, who don’t have the resources to fight back. Lodsys appears to be maintaining its trend of ignoring media requests, so we’re keeping an eye on the patent troll’s blog to see if anyone comes up to the surface to defend this latest round of allegations. In the meantime, plugging your ears while humming and ignoring the mailman might not be such a bad idea… you know, if you do this kind of thing for a living.

Lodsys shifts in-app purchasing target to Android devs following Apple response originally appeared on Engadget on Sat, 28 May 2011 14:25:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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So once you become a reviewer of Tenga Jars it seems you become the go-to guy for folks trying to sell Tenga Jars. I feel like Malcom’s dad in Breaking Bad. You get into something for noble reasons and you end up killing a dude in the desert after blowing up his headquarters with fulminated mercury. Anyway, please bear with me. Someone out there may need this information.

Drumroll please: Just in time for Valentine’s Day, I present my review of the A10 Cyclone.

So what is the A10 Cyclone? Think of it as a shoe cleaner for your weenus. This onahole has a series of brushes that rotate back and forth over the item in question. The brushes are made of washable silicone. Then there’s a USB cable.

Now before you get all excited, this USB cable connects to the R-1 controller and not your PC. That’s right. You need an add-on for your add-on. The controller makes the brushes spin in different ways – back and forth, fast around, slow. You can really treat yourself. There’s a quick turn-off feature for when the mailman comes. You will probably also need some of JList’s special lubricants. It’s like climbing Mt. Everest. Do you go unprepared? No.

Here’s my honest opinion: I personally didn’t like the sensation. It’s kind of all-encompassing and you get quickly overwhelmed. I mean seriously, people. This is a motorized tenga jar. We’re not talking butterfly kisses. You either like it or you don’t. If you can’t handle lots of stimulation at once, maybe stay away.

The thing that I’m most confused about, however, is the Japanese fascination with these things. I mean if you’re down with putting it into a robot, do it. By all means. But seriously: these things do nothing for the self-esteem. If you can’t shave, meet a nice lady, maybe go to dinner and a movie, and maybe go back to her place and do the horizontal bop, fine. But seriously: do you need this level of simulation in your onanism? Do you? You really have to make a production out of things when you use this. It’s like cooking yourself a gourmet meal – it’s fun, but wouldn’t you rather order some wings and drink a beer? You’ll at least get more done around the house instead of chopping shallots and braising pheasant.

This machine costs $80 and the R-1 (which actually comes with a little vibrating egg and looks like an iPod Mini) is $60. For my money I’d stick with a Tenga jar (a little less overwhelming) but you do what you feel, dude.

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It’s a Saturday morning. You’re making Silver Dollar Hots for the family. The doorbell rings. It’s the mailman. He’s brought a CubeGuard.

That’s right: on the traditional day before or the actual day of rest, the mailman is here to bring you something to remind you of work. But what a gadget it is! It’s basically one of those crowd control tapes with a spring loaded reel to wind it back up after use. However, this tape has a calming scene – a mountain range or a happy face – with a message (”Do not disturb” or, in my case, “John is blogging. Do not disturb.”

That’s right: it’s crowd control tape for your cubicle. Read on for more info and a giveaway.

The CubeGuard has magnets on either side as well as high-test Velcro fasteners for folks without a metal door frame. The standard kit costs $19.99 for the standard kit and ten dollars more for a custom model.

Do they make sense? Sure. In a world full of distractions these things are kind of cute and a nice way to ensure that dude who no one likes at work who always asks what’s up after work and who always ends up finding out that you’re all going to Red Robin doesn’t poke his head around your cube door. Besides, we all need a little fun in our lives.

That said, CubeGuard is giving us 10 $19.99 coupons to give away. I’ll give them away to 10 commenters at random. Good luck and sorry to bring up work on a Saturday. I’ll close the contest at noon on Tuesday.