The internet is falling over itself in paroxysms of ecstatic speculation due to a trio of unbelievably innocuous Google ads showing up in Europe. You’d think it was the end of days — calm yourself, internet. Is there really anything here worth looking twice at, to say nothing of gibbering prophetically about? Let’s see here.

You can see screenshots of the original ads at the original post at Apple Insider, but for simplicity’s sake I’m just going to put the translated text here.

Apple’s Newest MacBook. Thinner, lighter and faster! Free delivery. Order today.
The brand new iMac. Ultra Thin 20 & 24 inch models. From only €1099.
Apple’s New Mac Mini. Faster and more affordable than ever. From only €499. Order immediately.

What strikes you about these ads? They say nothing at all.

Technically, the current MacBook is indeed Apple’s “newest.” Thinner, lighter, and faster than what? These statements are general enough to apply to any Apple product.

The “brand new” iMac poses more of a conundrum. Can they really say brand new when it hasn’t been updated in ages? Why not? Apple said twice as fast, half the price when neither was true. How would you expect them to advertise a current product? “The old standby” isn’t going to sell any units. “Ultra Thin 20 & 24 inch models” could also refer to available iMacs.

The “New Mac Mini” priced at €499 is the only compelling one, really — there is no Mini currently available for that price in the store the ad directs you to, but pricing does vary between countries.

Okay, okay, I’m just poking holes in this just for the fun of it. In all likelihood they are real Apple ads, run a little early. But let’s all calm down because there’s nothing of substance in any of them except for a lowered Mini price. Every Apple product since the dawn of time has gotten thinner and faster with every iteration, and everyone has already speculated on products with those predictable improvements.

Could it be true? Do we want it to be true? Is T-Mobile really in negotiations with Apple to break O2′s exclusivity on the Jesus Phone? In truth, I don’t know, but a report on the Register says that’s what’s agoin’ on. Now, bear in mind that this would only be a deal to stock the iPhone 3G and not the 3GS which only arrived a few weeks back. That’s still staying with O2 only but I have heard some time ago that the deal between them and Apple is to run out in the next couple of years; 2011, I believe it was. The story goes that T-Mobile is keen to climb the UK mobile provider ranks from its current fourth spot and prove to the Deutsche Telekom bosses that it’s worth keeping. Stocking the iPhone would certainly be an interesting way of doing that, providing that the UK market isn’t already saturated with them. The deal would be attractive to Apple who currently rely on network subsidies to keep the cost of the iPhone as low as possible. Naturally, all parties have refused to comment on the matter apart from T-Mobile who called the report “merely speculation”. It may well be but I thought you’d better hear it just in case there’s a kernel of truth within. Wouldn’t want to surprise you all with an announcement like that out of the blue. So, let’s say it does happen. Good thing? Would you go for a 3G over a 3GS? Would it make any difference if it was the same price as on O2? And do you think it could spark a mini price war if not? (via Brand Republic)